A New Relationship with Myself
6 months ago, I left India with a bag of clothes that would last me only a few days. My fam was calling me to be with them in the States because they were scared of coronavirus spreading quickly and of course, they didn’t want me to be alone.
I didn’t really want to leave college. I had my dissertation to complete and working with my professor from across the world seemed like it would be so challenging. But, I left knowing that my parents wouldn’t be in peace till I was safe with them (which by the way, took a lot of convincing from their side but I am so grateful that they did).
I thought I’d be back to college in a few weeks. But here we are 6 months later, and I’m still home. Yet, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I look back to who I was 6 months ago and who I am now and it’s crazy to see how different I am now. When I came home, I felt like I had SO much time on my hands. In a way, I felt suffocated because I couldn’t just step out of my room and meet my friends or go to my favorite cafe like I did in college.
But I soon realized that how I spent my time was up to me. So I decided that I wanted to take this time to explore. I wanted to explore my interests, play with the inner child, and just be with myself. Prior to this, I had got out of a 3 year (beautiful) relationship and when I got out of it, I realized that I really didn’t know who I was.
So, I took these 6 months and tried learning ANYTHING that interested me while working on my dissertation on the side. I composed music with my sister, learned how to use a DAW, I experimented with cooking and I now cook very frequently for fam (yes, I made that beautiful salmon), I got very fascinated with industrial design and learned sketching, Fusion360, 3D printing, and I’m currently working on a personal passion project with a friend.
Through the process of experimenting and learning these things, I learned about my weaknesses, strengths, likes, and dislikes. I gained a sense of confidence with myself where I know that if I really want to learn anything, I can. I learned to be gentle with myself and learned to watch the negative thoughts. I became comfortable with being alone. I started to build a relationship with myself and honestly, I’ve never felt better.
And it’s only been 6 months of making myself my priority. I can’t wait to see what the next 6 months hold.
