are you truly living your life?

As I turn 27 this year, there’s a nostalgia for the times when I was a kid. Life felt so, so simple, and there was a sense of freedom. I miss the innocence of not having any expectations from life.

Even connecting with another human being was simple, fun, and joyful, and there were no worries about anything — no worries of being judged or looking stupid. As children, we simply existed. We existed and enjoyed each moment as it came.

As years go by and we navigate through life, we’re taught to have goals. Once you’ve achieved a specific goal, you’re considered successful, whether it’s getting an A in class, getting into the best university, or climbing the corporate ladder to make a six-figure income. All these goals are handed to us by society.

But in these moments, we’re never taught to take a second, to take one breath, to even think — does this goal resonate with me? So far, my life has felt like I’ve been chasing one achievement after another. Once I accomplish one, I jump straight to the next one.

Lately, whenever I achieve something, there’s been a period of quietness that follows, and during that time, I find myself feeling extremely anxious. There’s a feeling of uneasiness because I have no idea what I want to do next or what my next big goal should be. And this quietness brings me so much discomfort. In these moments of silence, I find my mind racing with so much noise and questions, like

“What am I doing with my life?”